Finishing

I am just wrapping up the last days of the first whole year in teaching... Wow! I am so tired even my hair hurts today. I have spent so much time this week that on report cards and files and whatnots that all I want to do is clean and organize and not touch paper again for a while. The year was good, the job was temporary, and I am in the middle of job hunting yet again. After teaching summer school, I don't know where I will be; I am really hoping not to need to sub again.

As if this week wasn't hard enough, I also got to spend my Friday night ending the relationship that I spent the last four months in. It was a first for me, and while both good and necessary, it stunk. Opening up and trusting people is much harder that I ever thought, and in the past year I have realized how much I have messed up my very own mind by shutting off totally for fear of getting hurt. I suppose experiencing hurt is not the worst thing after all, loneliness beats it out every time.

Having spent the last year dealing with family drama and pain, I am also finishing my time as my family's peacemaker. All of my life has been stressful due to the acceptance of family drama and the desire to care for each of them until their problems were resolved. Simply for my own health, I am finding ways to deal with listening to other's problems without taking them on as my own. It is the healthiest I have been.